One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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