um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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