so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
