i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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