Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
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I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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