Christians are straight up FREAKS
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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