AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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