Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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