I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My balls are so social today.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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