At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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