i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize