meet me or not, i'm out of control
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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