great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
