i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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