I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
