I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
