if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
