a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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