im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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