and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
