I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
