this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
