he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
