Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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