My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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