i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
