STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
