I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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