Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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