I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we're making bets on your personal life
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
