so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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