drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
