i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Your cock deserves a montage
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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