I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
