I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize