Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
