I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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