He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
