so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
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Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
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I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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