oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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