whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize