Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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