we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
