AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
