I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she woke up with a sticky ear
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
