thus making me awesome and them whores
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
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