a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
