is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
