I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
