are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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