so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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