i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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