I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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