Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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