This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
