god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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