kristin has been a bad kristin
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
