Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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