ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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