My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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