we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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