one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
