he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
