Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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