butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
